[Cass is standing outside of the porter building, still wearing the gaudy Christmas sweater that she was last seen in. She looks more than slightly bewildered.]

Um... what happened?

[Cass is pulling the rubber band off of a rolled-up piece of paper as she glances into the camera.]

My movie is out today.

[She unrolls the paper and holds up the poster for Under Siege 3: The Assassin Strain. It depicts a (heavily Photoshopped) Steven Seagal, gun in hand and a grim look of determination (or... some kind of emotion) on his face ( Read more... )

[The camera is pointed toward a handful of kids, probably around thirteen years old, dressed in karate uniforms and copious amounts of pads. Two are sparring on the matted floors--which some mike recognize belong to the School of Thunder. One kid moves swiftly, lashing out with moves from a variety of styles and never seeming to stand still for ( Read more... )

Movie got, uh... interrupted by dinosaurs. Think they added a scene where I punch one. Said it was a... free special effect.

Seagal hid in his trailer... the whole time.

[Private to Mia Dearden]

There is a... jacuzzi. But Seagal just sits in it. And eats cheeseburgers.

[Private to Steph and Charlie]Going on a, um... road trip with Tank Girl ( Read more... )

[Cass is staring at a script in her hands with something between disgust and anger. She can't read it, but she's staring at it with such intensity that maybe she's hoping that she'll discover that the porter gave her eye lasers to burn straight through it.]

I'm the bad guy.

I was training... in the park. A guy saw me. Said he, um, wanted me to be in... a movie. With, uh...

[She holds up a business card to the camera, which says "Robert Jones, Casting Director for Untitled Film starring Steven Seagal."]

Never, um, acted. Not sure I should.

[Private & Encrypted to Ted Kord]Um. Hi. I, uh... have a question. ( Read more... )

[When she speaks, it's in a kind of forced calm, but there's clearly a lot of emotion she's trying to suppress.]

My dad is here.

...Be careful.

[Attempted private to Tank Girl, but actually completely public because Cass is technologically inept and forgot to close her parentheses or something]

Um. What are you, uh, supposed to do... on a date?

Steph is here. Can she, uh... live with us?

[Don't mind the big, round puppy dog eyes looking into the camera.]

[The sound of an electric razor can be heard, with Tank Girl and Cassandra speaking over it.]

Haha, oh man, I was just joking when I said that! But I guess y'must've gotten real fixated on the look... not that I'm complaining, this is gonna look GREAT on you...

Saw a, um... picture. Looked cool.

It does look cool. It's rad as hell. And you've ( Read more... )